So I once again find myself revising an unfinished story. This a story I've been working on since High School. Basically something I work on a bit, put away and pick up a year later. I've revised what I've written at least 3 times before. This time I however feel like I am truely making it better. FIrst off their are less typos and such, I think.
Original version of the begining of the story.
Revised version of the above.
Original version of the begining of the story.
Revised version of the above.